Maljam's Profile

Age: 2006 will be my 42st year on this planet. In just 9 years' time I'll be 50 - gosh! Time flies when you're... ?

Eyes: Blue; Hair: Dark Blonde; Hair Length: shorter than it has been in 10 years! By the end of 2001 I had cut 14-inches off its' length! But its' still half-way-down my back, plus 99% of the time it's kept in a long clean neat'n'tidy ponytail. When I used to play in Surprise, it would take me an hour to crimp it! Currently wearing glasses (I'm classically short-sighted) and a short beard and mo. No tats. No piercings. My left testicle is the larger one, as is my left ear-lobe.

Born in Paddington, Sydney, NSW, Australia, 1 month after The Beatles had toured out here, in the Chinese 'Year of the Dragon'. I was conceived 1 month before JFK was assassinated (right on the boundary between Baby Boomers and Baby Busters!) Altho I don't 'believe' in the Zodiac, I'm told I'm a "Leo".

Weight: fluctuates between 77 to 80-ish kg. I've been this same weight for about the last 15 years! Whoo hoo! I'm currently 83kg or 183 pounds - but I'm happy even with a few extra pounds..

Height: 5' 10" - in metric? Hmmm...let me try to convert that...7,429.95 cm - does that sound right to you?!? Or is it 177.8 cm?!?

I'm now officially a 'divorced dad' as from 18th November, 2002 (Decree Nisi 19 December 2002) - singleness not being something I had planned on becoming at the age of 38.

I've spent 8 of the last 10 years living in Bathurst, NSW, Australia (about 200km west of Sydney). Until very recently I'd been living in Wyong, NSW, Australia, about 1 hour north of Sydney, on the 'Central Coast', half-way between Sydney and Newcastle. Over the past few decades, I have lived in Gosford, Narara, Bathurst (8 years), Ilford, Sydney, Manly...

I've only travelled outside Australia once, as a c.11-yo to New Zealand with my parents for a 2-week package holiday. The only 2 Australian states I haven't been to yet are WA & Tasmania. The most remote place I think I've been to is Lightning Ridge, or maybe Silverton (near Broken Hill), or maybe Ularu and The Olgas. Hmmm...

I plan to watch a sunset over the ocean sometime before I die - being on the east coast, I've seen hundreds of sunrises over the ocean! I've always wanted to do that with someone very special...hmmm...

One of my all-time fav places is a spot in the middle of nowhere, just north of Port Stephens in NSW, called Mungo Brush. There is nothing there (which is why I like it), except a lake, sanddunes and a c.20km beach! But, a close second is Rainbow Bay, just on the other side of the QLD border!

As you may gather, altho it fluctuates, I struggle with a poor self-image sometimes. Although - I like me. Yes, I do like me.

Favourite colour: Orange - it's a bright, joyful, happy and natural colour. Totally useless to use about the house for anything tho...

My Favourite Things: My family - my 3 most precious boys, aged 12, 9 and 7. I love you endlessly!

Most Painful Experience: Separation - and now divorce - from my wife of 10 years - absolute purgatory. BUT - there is light afterwards - purgatory does not last forever...future happiness is possible now..."leaving the past behind, and pressing on towards the goal..."

Continuing Painful Experience - being physicaly separated from my three precious sons. I miss so much just being with them 24/7. I am trying to have an (external) continuing relationship with my sons, as hard and painful as that is at times, and as difficult as that is being made for me to have.

Favourite Car: Datsun 120Y - with a top speed of 85 km/h!!! Apart from that...anything but a Ford!

What form of transport did my family have at the age of 12? Dad had a white (tho rusty) Holden Kingswood Station-wagon; before that, he used to have a pale-green VW Beetle - a car-load of 12 scouts physically bent the chassis! Poor "Herbie"!

My brother's pet hobby is genealogy / family trees - I have a direct relative who arrived in Australia on the 2nd Fleet in 1789 as a convict. The family were originally from Scotland, then Ireland. My great great Grandfather's name was 'Cornelius' - poor sod!

I bailed-out half-way-thru my HSC year in 1982, hence only achieving my School Certificate in 1980. I completed a 3-year A.C.T. Diploma of Theology (Evangelism) in 1996 - a very personally-satisfying achievement for me.

Pretty Green

My 'passion' is to "help" other people - I'd love to teach adults (ie. Adult Education and Training). I'm beginning to move towards that...

Stop Press!!! I've been formally accepted, thru the University of New England, to do a Bachelor of Education in Adult Education and Training full-time in 2003/04! Yay! Like - I am soooo excited!

The 'plan' (after Uni in 2004) is to become a workplace trainer or assessor - assisting people fulfill their work-poteential more effectively. Teachings' still my 'passion', plus it'll be 'helping' people - this'll be something based on job-satisfaction, not just the bucks! Whoo hoo!

After a hiatus in 2005, now I'm undertaking a Certificate IV in Assessment & Workplace Training - Nationally Accredited training.

Favourite Band: The Beatles - any 1960's British pop/rock, really. Anna - it's true - I'm not an Elvis fan... I can't go too fast past Crowded House, either...

I enjoy playing music 'with a passion', including guitar (acoustic, classical, electric), bass (electric, fretless, acoustic and double), piano/keyboards, drums, vocals, and arranging too. I've written a few songs (only 1 published so far). I taught myself to play guitar after locking myself away in my bedroom as a teenager, chugging along to all those Beatles' LP's.

I have a natural gift/talent for being able to play music 'by ear' - I can listen to something once or twice,, and usually play it. I have an annoying 'habit' of usually being able to tell the pitch/key of a song or note! I'm a really-rusty sight-reader tho - I can 'read the dots', but it's a slow and arduous process nowadays (Every Good Boy Deserves Fruit & FACE) - D'oh!.

Favourite Food: Hot chip butties; lamingtons; Tacos - thanx Drew (but - not all at the same meal!)

Favourite Author:
(*) George Johnston (1912-1970) - ('My Brother Jack', 'Clean Straw For Notthing', 'The Far Road' - you MUST read 'The Far Road' b4 you die!!!) Check out this...

Favourite Poet:
(*) Robert Lowell (1917 - 1977) - 'Life Studies', 'For the Union Dead', 'NNotebook', 'The Dolphin', etc.

I often make things hard for myself - I am often my own worst enemy when it comes to making some decisions. I am continuing to work thru this as I get older.

I often act lazy. It is not my intention to tho. (Note: I didn't say I 'am' lazy! hee hee)

I'm been under very-mild-medication for clinical bi-polar depression since 2001-2002. ('Cipramil')

After suffering the horrible personaliity-effects of depression for most of my adult life, plus seeking prayer ministry and counseling - I NOW find out it was all caused by someething as simple as a 'chemical imbalance'! D'oh! 17 years' worth of gray-hair, sleepless-nights and wrinkles all for nothing...

I enjoy researching information, but often it's of no practical worth - ie. forms of trivia. That's probably why I enjoy studying so much! Haha.

My parents tried to do everything for me growing up - hence I have difficulty accepting personal responsibility with some things sometimes. BUT - I've "grown-up" now...!!

After M had been in labour for 32 hours, and JD could've died, I finally went home and wept uncontrollably - I had felt so helpless.

Then there was 4-month-old SJ in hospital for 16 days with meningitis, with a central-line going straight into his heart... ouchies inside for a helpless dad...

I have nearly accidentally drowned at least twice - once in rapids whilst white-water rafting in the Upper Shoalhaven River c.1988, the second time in the surf at Tweed Heads 2001. "It's peaceful."

I adore watching lightning-storms light-up the night-time sky. Heaven's 'fireworks'...

I find it hard to be as open and honest and to make new friends - unlike I used to be. I highly value 'trust', yet I have experienced the painful agony of a few key people in my life who have let me down relationally big-time. Ouch.

I have a 'dent' (no, not 'Arthur' Dent...) in the middle-top of my head, after getting my head stuck between the rails of a neighbours' front-gate as a 4-yo - sitting in an empty cardboard box being pushed along on a skateboard at 6 o'clock one morning. (The stoopid thing we did as kids, hey?!)

I still adore laying on my back in the middle of a pitch-black paddock or deserted beach in the middle of nowhere, gazing up into the stars and into infinity...22 ÷7 = Pi ...July 2005 saw me finally with a telescope - for the first time in about 30 years!

Best Friend in Primary School: Glen Barry - he had flaming red hair, and had a little brother, Russell.

It has been wonderful re-connecting with an old Primary Schoolmate again after 26 years' - thanx Anna Banana.

Best Friend in High School: Ahmed Y. - I was his best man on his wedding day in 1983 - alas, I had also lost contact with him. Until recently, when we've reconnected via emails. A face-to-face is coming soon! Whoo hoo!

I cannot believe that Zalai was still playing soccer with "The Slashers" - continuously since 1982 right upto 2002!!! Wow! Memories of Bathtub Parties at Gents haunt me - lol. We had a team mascot called 'Vomit the Pig' - what a worry!

I used to follow Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles in the Rugby League, and watched endless games at Brookvale Oval, as a young teenager. Hurray - the Manly Sea Eagles are back!!

My only brother - 10-years'-older than me - told me in 2002 he didn't want me as part of his life any more. "This makes me very sad" (an understatement!) We had both suffered nervous breakdowns' within months' of each other over the last 30+ months. I miss him. Tho the 'thaw' continues for us both...thankfully.
Stop Press... the thaw is now completed! With much rejoicing! Whoo hoo! Now we get together just to happily and comfortably hang out together! Awlright!

I miss my dad very much. Even tho we didn't talk all that much, we had a very close 'connection' - we had so many things in common, and he was always 'just there,' you know? Is it really 9 years' already?! Love ya, ya ol' coot!

It's a very surreal situation to be in - having both your parents no longer here, and seeing their memorial plaques side-by-side!

I caught my dad's passion for sailing - 'wet-bum sailing'. I used to race 16' Skiffs out of Manly in Sydney Harbour every Saturday arvo for years... I had a season in a Flying 11 as well...

Nowdays I'm happily sailing a 12-foot one-man sailing dinghy I call Wyreema every Sunday at Carcoar Dam NSW.

I always had a illogical fear of Dobroyd Heads' Bombora - even when we sailed right on top of it once.

I have a unreasonable fear of falling-over backwards - being tripped at ankle-height. I also have an unreasonable tendency to avoid walking across large manhole-covers as I'm walking in the street. Of course this is illogical, and 99.9% of the time I just walk right over the top of 'em nowadays!

If I have ever contemplated suicide, the main reasons that have stopped me are i) the boys, and ii) that someone has to 'discover' me afterwards. Neither option is fair or just for anyone-else. 'nuff said.

I used to inadvertently get badly sunburnt at the beginning of each summer as a kid - somehow, my skin is still reasonably alright.

I've had 2 non-malignant but feral 'warts' removed in the last 14 years' - one on my left side, the other on my rigght shoulder/neck.

Click here for a full-colour photo-essay of my latest nudist swingers party, complete with live Volleyball-Net Cam feeds.

I used to enjoy rowing as the bowman in an 'Eight' at school. We were Public Schoolboys (ie. scum! lol), and whipped the GPS (ie. Private School snots) boats! Apparently, my 'technique' of dipping in fractionally early was our coaches' preferred action for his bowman - I found out years' later - thanks Gibbbo!

Jesus Christ (was [?] ) my Lord and Saviour, but "Christianity" and "church-life" are - as I've experienced it - disappointing and shallow. "Grace"? (Sounds great, but in practical reality...?)

My first Christian role-models were: Greg Stigter, Barney Miller, Baden Wynn - all of whom still worship (Thank you All Saints Anglican Church, Balgowlah).

I am not journeying with a (mainline evangelical) Christian church presently. I am 'learning to view the world through a different pair of glasses', and it's a refreshingly different experience to what I have ever known before. Some of my previous churched associates would be horrified to know that I have a practicing pagan as a good friend nowdays, as well as some agnostics and atheists, and even Liberal Christians too! I haven't had the 'religious' freedom to mix with non-believers freely in this way in 17 years! Whoo hoo!

Nowadays I'd call myself a non-practising spiritual humanist with protestant evangelical roots. Check out the 'Church of the Withered Fig' for a bit more info about that...

I enjoy isolation - I need time by myself to 'recharge' after being surrounded by people, but I also adore company - to be entertained by peoples' natural talent to just be themselves.

My 'best man', who I rarely speak to (rather, I can never reach him!), has very keenly observed (correctly) that I only let people know what I want to let them know about me. This comes down to my loss of trust in people. I am either a highly-complex individual, or a very simple person - I swing between the 2, I think. No, I think I am an intelligent simpleton...

I remember being in Infants' School at Manly West and watching the 1st moon landings on a large black-and-white TV in July 1969. I also remember throwing-up outside that same room too - I can still see a picture in my mind of the sawdust being spread from a red metal bucket all over the wooden floor.

3-years' of taking 'recreational-drugs' as an older-tenager has stuffed my short-term memory. I do not remember my 19th year, anyway - it was one big blur of continual partying... I have not done any of that crap in over 17+ years. Learning by repetition has become the standard rather than the exception! Just as well I enjoy 'study' and research...

I am personally aware of having a possibly addictive-personality - I do enjoy having a relaxing drink now and again. I very occasionally drink so not have to feel... altho it ruined my life as a 20-yo. But - there is a huge difference between 'relaaxation' and 'excess'...

I once hand-paddled a small white dinghy from one side of a possibly-shark-friendly Middle Harbour to the other in the middle of the night, as the tiny battered craft slowly sank underneath me. Ahh...those all-nighters at Clontarf have a lot to answer for!

I have developed a nervous tick in my lower-left eyelid. (Tho, this is only a rarity nowadays.)

Sometimes I find it hard to honestly forgive myself - sometimes for things that have passed like 8-years' previously!

I spent 3 1/2 months' in the MRC at Long Bay Jail (Sydney) in early 1985. 'Gibbo' was the first 'Christian' I think I'd really met. A lot of self-confessed 'Christians' distance themselves from me after they find-out my past-background. Delusion caused by excessive personal drug-use is very very uncool, and a result of this incident will have a continuing negative effect for the rest of my life. Practical involvement within church-life changed me 1,000% for the better as a person.

The only stitches I've ever had were on the outside of my left knee, after I fin-chopped myself with my surfboard at Freshwater Beach as a teenager, c.1980. Needless to say - I was never very good at surfing!

I've broken most toes on both feet (incl. left big-toe twice!) - thru sailing as a teenager! There's not a whole lot they can do for a broken toe, except let them mend themselves! I never realised a toe had broken when I was out on the water - until trying to get out of bed the next morning, and falling over in pain! D'oh!

I mastered boogey-boarding in a major-way at Tweed Heads/Gold Coast in the summer of 2001/02 - yeah! Tho I managed to fall-off just two waves on my $35 5th-hand surfboard... Thank you Rainbow Bay.

There's fairly limited access to the surf living 200km inland from the ocean... I miss the smell and sound of the sea.

I wore braces on my teeth for two years' as a teenager. I sucked my thumb until I was about 10 (?), and my teeth stuck-out terribly as a result. I wore the nickname "Buckkie-Beaver" for a long time - I hated it.

I was once bound and gagged by my older brother, and shoved under my bed, when he was 'babysitting' me, when I was a young kid. I have always felt slightly defenseless and helpless ever since.

My passion for poetry and appreciation of literature came from my Year 11 High School English Teacher, Rod Leonarder - I dedicate Robert Lowells' "Skunk Hour" to you - thank you!

My passion and joy of appreciation of all types and styles of music came from my High School Music Teacher, Antoinette Jameson - thank you for pushing me!

The High School Maths' Master who dropped me three classes at once was a drunken ignoramus after lunchtime alcoholic binges at the RSL Club. My actual Maths' teacher looked on in horror and pity - unable to do anything - as it was announced in front of all my ppeers that I was being dropped three classes - thank you for your look of compassion. Dignity is not something to be thrown away.

The torturous situations that have happened to me/around me/because of me over the last c.4+ years have left me quite emotionally scarred. I have physically aged 10 years in that short time. In many ways, I am just a hollow shell of the person I once was!

I used to think I didn't give a shit what other people thought of me - but "there's one thing you can't hide when you're crippled inside." If people don't like it when I wear my heart on my sleeve - that's their problem, not mine!

I also feel sorry and sad for the people who would think I am making this stuff up for my own ulterior motives. I am NOT. (Fuck you!)

I also don't expect anyone to ever read this far into this page! Email me if you do and want to leave a comment or observation with me! Or, leave a comment in my Guestbook or Message Board if you'd like to.

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ON KILEY'S RUN

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(Should I know?! rofl)

ON KILEY'S RUN

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Who-What-Why-Where-How Am I?