Euan
 

One of the joys of being gay at the end of the 20th Century is that there are now gay books. gay magazines, gay films, gay TV shows like Queer Nation and our own gay newspaper The Otago Gaily Times

Recently I went to the movie Get Real, a story of growing up gay; a love story; a coming out story and, at the end, four people who have to come to terms with the reality of being the parents of gay sons.

The two young men in the story have had months or years of coming to accept their sexual identity - for the parents it’s a real shock. I guess that’s what it is like for most parents when their children come out to them though perhaps it doesn’t usuallly happen as publicly as it did in the film.

Many parents pass through a process similar to mourning the loss of a family member.  They  are involved in a real grief process . It can be the same for family and friends. Often it’s something our parents won’t, or can’t, tell their closest friends, other members of their family. Sometimes a wife is unable to tell her husband. It can be a lonely experience.

Hence Pflag - Parents friends and family of lesbians and gays. People who have been or are going through the same experience. Not professional counsellors but individuals who are willing to listen and share their own journey.

My own interest in Pflag is a desire to make things better for young gay people of the future. We are all from families. Even those who have left for the freedom of bigger cities have left parents and families behind.

By  aiding parents to accept their gay children we can help to change our society’s attitudes. If I am permitted to dream it is of a New Zealand where having a gay son or lesbian daughter is as normal as their being left-handed.

Pflag South is Dunedin based but we are a resource for parents in the south of the South Island. We’re a small but dedicated and enthusiastic group who’ve been meeting monthly since May this year [1999]. We’re working on developing resources both for parents and for their children who are considering coming out. We hope to tell our stories in upcoming editions of the Otago Gaily Times. You can contact us anytime by phoning Citizens’ Advice or Gayline 

Euan Thomson

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